Petty 63-year-old dad seats daughter's 33-year-old husband at the kid's table at his birthday dinner, she storms out at the belittling gesture: "He'll be fine over there"

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  • 01

    AITA for walking out of my dad's birthday dinner because he made my husband sit at the kids table?

    "We just didn't have enough space"
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    My dad (63M) had a big birthday dinner at a restaurant with our whole extended family, around 25 people. It was semi-formal, and he'd reserved this big private room at a nice place. He asked everyone to RSVP, so it wasn't like a casual drop-in thing.
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    ITSMY Birthday
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    1 (32F) showed up with my husband (33M). We've been married three years, together for eight. Everyone in my family knows him and he's been to every Thanksgiving, wedding, funeral, etc. They've
  • 05
    always been a little "meh" toward him, probably because he's quiet and kind of nerdy and doesn't play into my family's loud, jokey vibe. But still. He's never been ride or anything.
  • 06
    We get there, and there are place cards. I'm seated at the main table with my parents, siblings, cousins, and their spouses. My husband? He's at the literal kids' table. It was a. smaller table set up in the corner with my teenage cousins (ages like 12 to 16).
  • 07
    I actually laughed at first because I thought it was a mistake. But when I asked my dad, he said, "Oh, we just didn't have enough space. You'll be more comfortable catching up with your cousins anyway. He'll be fine over there." WHAT??
  • 08
    I said that wasn't acceptable, and my dad basically shrugged and said not to make a big deal out of it. My husband was trying to just go along with it. He was literally sitting down next to a 14-year-old and asking him about his summer plans.
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    Cheezburger Image 10513658880
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    I lost it. I said if my husband wasn't welcome at the adult table, then neither of us were staying. I told my dad he was being disrespectful and weirdly controlling, and we left before the appetizers came.
  • 11
    Now my family is blowing up my phone saying I overreacted, that I embarrassed my dad on his birthday, and that I should've "just sucked it up for one night." My mom texted me this morning saying I owe him an apology.
  • 12
    My husband says he's fine, and he's used to "not being liked," which just makes me feel worse. But now I'm second-guessing - was walking out too much. AITA?
  • 13
    I am sorry
  • 14
    kimmysharma NTA! Your dad was wayyy out of line!
  • 15
    Usual-Canary-7764 OPS husband says he is used to not being liked. So it is wayyy worse than just the segregation at dinner. That act was the icing on the turdpuddle cake they have been baking for a long time. Nope just nope. Yikes that familys ks
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    HonneyVelvet Absolutely agree!! OP wasn't overreacting, being married for years and still having your partner dismissed like that, especially in front of extended
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    family, is more than just an "oops." It's a choice that sends a clear message, and OP stood up for their husband in the moment. Honestly, that kind of loyalty is something to be proud of!
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    spacemouse21 NTAH. Your dad was the birthday a hole. He should've sat at the children's table because he was so immature.
  • 19
    gorillaboy75 NTA. Your dad embarrassed himself on his birthday. Your mom is wrong, and your dad owes your husband an apology. However, I do think your husband is super cool and very sweet. Go along with whatever chaos your family brings. I have a husband who is similar.
  • 20
    Vibe Peaches Totally agree, your husband sounds like a gem, and your dad definitely needs to own up. Family chaos is real!
  • 21
    lovemyfurryfam That AH father of OP's being the immature brat who going have to grow up emotionally mentally if he wants to see OP ever again.
  • 22
    HonneyVelvet That's such a thoughtful take. OP's husband really does sound like a class act...handling it with quiet grace even while being seated away from his spouse at a literal kids' table. It's good to hear
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    that you can relate with a similar partner; that kind of steady calm is rare and so valuable, especially when navigating complicated family dynamics. And you're right, the embarrassment isn't on OP. It's on the people who thought this setup was remotely okay in the first place!!
  • 24
    LakeeshaDKesler NTA you're completely right! You and your husband are 1 unit PERIOD! If you would have accepted that you would be sending a message that it's okay to mistreat your husband. YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!
  • 25
    NurseRobyn Yes! It's so nice to see someone stand up for their spouse. Way to have your husband's back OP, NTA.
  • 26
    bluetopaz83 You are also setting a precedent that this kind of behaviour will not be accepted at future events. If you had just put up with it for that birthday, they would have tried disrespecting your husband at future events.
  • 27
    Goidelica NTA, you're a great partner. No hesitation standing up for your man. Nothing worse than that mean girl high school bs, especially from a grown a man.
  • 28
    Few-Paramedic9779 NTA, your dad was being passive aggressive
  • 29
    Parking-Radio8059 Nah just aggressive
  • 30
    Dorkicus The kids' table is more fun. You should have joined him there. Your father couldn't have said anything about it without looking like a petty prat

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